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Bald headed eagle with large wingspan flying in the sky looking brave

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****For the Impatient: Scroll Down for the Start of the Fear Busting List ****

Me? Brave? That’s Not How I Saw Myself

Except the the time I found myself upside down, hanging from my bent knees, swinging 35 feet above the earth…and then letting go.

My heart was pumping hard in my ears as I reached out.

And found myself arm to arm with a professional trapeze artist, eyes locked.

After a swing or two he let me go as I fell backwards into the net below.

It was exhilarating! I had a smile plastered on my face for the rest of the day.

If you had asked me if I would ever have ever flown on a trapeze in my life, I would have said “no way in h*ll!” And yet I did. What a feeling of power!

I’ve enjoyed that feeling so many times in my life.

Here’s the thing.

I grew up pretty much afraid of everything. So much about life feels scary. I get anxious easily.

But I didn’t want to live that way.

What Would Life Be Like If You Could Get Past Fear?

Think about that for a moment.

What would you accomplish if you believed you couldn’t fail?

How would that feel in your body?

What would your work life look like?

What would your relationships look like?

What would your bank account look like?

What adventures would you be talking about?

The Pursuit of Happiness is Really the Pursuit of Courage

I started out painfully shy and quiet and I spent my days in the safety of reading books. I have since gone on to do lots of brave things.

I’ll share some with you at the end of the post. But let’s get get back to one brave act I just talked about.

Watch this video posted by Mpu Dinani between 4:46 and 6:36 to get a feel for what it was like to do the trapeze.

The last guy has a camera on his head, so you can see it from the point of view of the jumper.

When I see that, I think “Wow! I did that!”

And I did other things too.

Despite my fear of heights:

- I learned, as mentioned, how to let go on a trapeze, while flipping backwards, 30 feet off the ground.
- I fly on planes
- I’ve walked down the side trails of the Grand Canyon
- I’ve gone zip lining
- I’ve gone on The Drop Tower at an amusement park (what was I thinking?)

Besides dealing with shyness and heights, I have a long list of fears. I’m also afraid of guns, needles, tight spaces, and being in fast-moving cars. I’m super afraid of spiders too.

In fact, I’m anxious when taking any risk at all. I’ve even called myself the “safety gal” because I want everything to feel safe.

But I have never let fear stop me from experiencing the life I want to lead.

I’ll share more of what I have experienced at the end of the post despite my fears.

Today, my self image has changed. I count myself as brave and as my confidence grows, so does my life experiences.

Life gets easier as the anxiety and fear softens and sometimes leaves altogether. It can happen for you too. Let’s take a closer look.

An embroidered picture of a human heart to illustrate courage.

What is Courage?

Courage comes from the latin word “cor.”

I thought “cor” would be short for “corrugated” which means “wrinkled” and “to cause disgust.” Sometimes I feel disgusted with my fear, so it fits. But that’s just me being silly…(1)

Really “cor” means “heart.” (2)

Our heart is at the core of our body, our middle. I imagine to be courageous means we have to put our whole self in…the core of ourself, and this is scary. This gives new meaning to the hokey-pokey song, doesn’t it? (3)

Courage does not mean “the absence of fear,” as many people think. If you are not scared, then it’s not a matter of bravery, right? So you are in the state of fear when you are being brave. Fear is part of bravery.

Why Do We Have Fear? Introducing, Your Amygdala

Our brain has different parts. One part at the base of the brain is called the “amygdala.”

For giggles, we’ll call that part Myg, (She pronounces it “Meg.”)

Myg is about the size and shape of an almond and is part of your nervous system. Myg has a twin sister. Let’s call her Dala. They live on each side of the brain where it splits down the middle. (4)

When Myg and Dala get even the slightest hint that you’re in trouble, they work together to turn you into Action Jackson! They turn on all the systems you need to protect yourself in the face of danger. A Myg+Dala twin power causes your heart and lungs to start working harder in case you need to run or fight.

See what I did there? Heheh. AMygDala. Getit? Getit? Forget it.

The twins work very quickly before we can think.

They’re lightning fast. It’s great when you have to run from something scary, like a bear or an episode of Teletubbies.

But it’s not always so great when you have a big speech, or need to move across the country.

It gets even worse if you have anxiety.

Scientists think anxiety is possibly caused by over activity in a network of places in the brain including the neighborhood where the twins live.

Anxiety is when you’re feeling nervous all the time, and it makes it hard to feel grounded and calm.

Unfortunately, we are unable to have a conversation with Meg and Dala to tell them to stop.

They are deaf to our pleas to shut off the flood of hormones that trigger fear and anxiety.

They do not have ears and they don’t text, so we will just have to figure out how to live with them, right?

In other words, you will feel fear even if the trigger is not life threatening, like learning how to skate, meeting your new boss, or taking a bite of the tuna, mustard & raisin sandwich your girlfriend made you for lunch.

Besides Anxiety, There Are Phobias and PTSD

People with phobias have developed an extreme reaction to an object or situation.

Phobias are often so intense they stop someone from living normally.

If you have a phobia, don’t despair. Lots of people with phobias learn how to get past it despite the intensity of the feelings.

I had a phobia of spiders for the first 25 years of my life, as mentioned earlier.

A girl holding a cookie with a spider decoration.

Despite my spider phobia:

- I saved a spider from drowning in my bathtub by catching it in my hand
- I let a spider have babies in my bedroom (27! Which I carefully moved days after they were hatched)
- I pet a tarantula and let it walk on me

Before I “fixed” my phobia, I’d go into hysterical screaming fits and scramble on top of furniture to get away.

It was so bad I wouldn’t step inside a room for days if I glimpsed one. I got through the worst of it by using a combination of fear-busting techniques.

Despite being scared of needles:

- I go to the dentist
- I give shots to sick cats I love

When I was a kid, it took six doctors and nurses to hold me down for a shot. I was terrified.

Despite my extreme fear of firearms:

- I’ve shot a gun and a rifle (and got a bullseye!)

Don’t get me started about guns. My husband wanted me to learn how to shoot one.

I balled my eyeballs out before and after touching my husband’s gun at a range. No, that’s not a euphemism, naughty brain!

What about PTSD?

It’s short for “post-traumatic stress syndrome” and it has a component of stress and anxiety that comes out of an extremely traumatic experience.

It can stop people from living a normal life and often affects the lives of others around them.

I’ve not been diagnosed with PTSD, but suspect I’ve suffer from it after being in a fatal car accident.

It took me a long time to get back on the road. Riding with other people was especially scary for me.

Despite my anxiety in fast moving cars:

- I’ve been a passenger in a racing car

I was proud of myself the day I sat in the passenger’s seat of my then boyfriend’s race car. I breathed deeply and talked to myself the entire time he zoomed around curves and sped up on the straightaways.

People with phobias and people with PTSD may need extra help managing their anxiety and fears. It’s worth exploring because it can be debilitating.

It requires motivation and persistence to loosen the grip of overwhelming fear.

A creepy looking question mark made by drawing on a foggy window.

When is Fear a Good Thing?

Don’t be mad at fear or the amygdala twins. Fear is great because it can help keep us safe.

It helps us to react quickly to situations that cause harm. It can also help us to take a second look at a situation before moving forward.

Not all situations involve physical harm.

Some scary situations could also include mental, financial, or social harm. Like when you’re caught fishing your marshmallow out of the chocolate fountain with your bare hands.

Our brain is trying to help us be careful. Be nice to your brain…it loves you.

Why We Want Courage

There are times we want to do something that feels scary, because we know it is going to make our lives better.

We want to get past the fear of rejection.

We want to feel safe to say “hello,” because that hello could lead to marriage, kids, and a 60 pound dog that sheds all over our favorite chair.

If you’d like to get passed shyness, please see my post with lots of extra shy-people tips after reading this post. (5)

Pushing past fear could mean you ask your boss for a raise.

Or WAIT… maybe you get super brave and start your own business! Woot!

Looking down a long surfboard towards the ocean invites a sense of vulnerability.

The Big Picture of Getting Courageous

Allowing vulnerability is the first key.

Getting through your fear requires some mental gymnastics and in some cases some physical ones too. You need to be okay with allowing a little risk into your life.

All decisions involve risk, even choosing to do nothing is still risky.

“If you CHOOSE not to decide, you still have made a choice.” -Rush, Neil Peart (6)

In other words, sometimes you risk losing out because you don’t move forward, so it’s still a matter of risking something.

You need to see things in a different light and make it a little easier on yourself to take the leap. Your brain got you into this… let’s help your brain get you out of this.

The nice thing about getting brave is that you can get better at it with practice.

You may still always feel a pang of butterflies in the stomach, but you’ll feel more empowered to move forward despite what the amygdala girls are telling you.

Sustaining motivation is the second key.

In other words, you have to want it.

For example, I’m not about to jump out of a plane, because it’s not important to me. If there came a time when it becomes emotionally important for me, then I would work to make it happen.

This motivation is called your “why.”

You need a strong “why” to get yourself to stick your fingers in your ears and sing lalalalalaa to avoid listening the the amygdala twins telling you it’s too dangerous.

Oh, jeeeeeez, I’ve been writing forever and haven’t even gotten to my list yet.

Excuse me while I go eat lunch and procrastinate for a while. (If you need help with procrastination, here are a few posts you can read until I come back) (7)(8)(9)(10)

Okay I’m back. Here we go.

Girl with mask and boxing gloves is ready to fight her fears.

A Fear Busting List

I got inspired to write this post because of my friend Sarah.

She chose a one-word New Year’s Resolution this year. Her word is “courage.”

If you’d like to learn more about crafting a one word resolution, I’ve got a post on that. (11)

She asked a few friends what advice we had for courage.

I had so many answers I needed to write them down. So I started this list.

Some of these items are similar to each other, but have slightly different mental frameworks.

Some will work or not work depending on the situation, and who you are.

Grab the first one that looks promising and give it a chance.

1. Shrug off others.

What do you think about all day? Yourself mostly, right?

That’s what other people do too.

People go back to focusing on themselves within seconds to minutes of thinking about you, if they do at all.

Stop worrying about what other people think about you because they don’t think about you. Not much, anyway.

Sorry. It’s not meant to hurt your feelings, it’s just the way us humans operate.

2. Know what your family really wants.

Family and close friends only care whether or not you’re happy.

Isn’t that what you care about when you think of them?

If a family member is having trouble, you worry about them.

If they’re happy, you focus yourself.

Same thing goes for them.

Make your family and friends happy by doing that thing you want to do. Don’t worry what they will think. They only care about your happiness.

3. Lower your expectations.

I am a musician, but I’ve never written a song.

I’m nervous to write one because, well, it’s going to suck.

I decided to go with the idea that it’s gonna be terrible and be okay with that.

It’s been helpful to have lower expectations. I’m able to work on it more often because it doesn’t seem so scary.

It’s gonna sound awful, and that’s okay. I plan on laughing the entire time.

Speaking of which…

4. Do laughter yoga.

Practice laughter yoga for tension release and remind yourself that things shouldn’t be taken so seriously.

Read more in my post about laughter yoga in another one of my posts. (12)

A carrot symbolizes a reward for doing something hard.

5. Use a carrot.

Magnify the feelings of how great it’s gonna feel when you tackle that scary next step.

Really focus on those feelings.

Now move forward.

6. Use a stick.

Magnify the feelings of how bad it’s gonna feel if you don’t get yourself to do the thing that’s making you nervous.

Will it feel like a loss? Will you be disappointed? Will you be forced to sit in a vat of humiliation?

Feel it. Now move forward.

7. Stay present.

Don’t think of the future or the past.

The only thing that is real is what is happening right NOW.

The future doesn’t exist yet, so don’t think about how you might fail. The past is no longer important. You are different now because you’ve grown.

Forget the past, forget the future.

Just focus on this moment.

8. Be grateful.

This one is especially great for general anxiety.

Make a list of things you’re grateful for, include things you are grateful for about yourself.

I write several of these daily and it calms me right down.

9. Scan your body.

Feel where the fear sits in your body.

Is it in the throat? In the chest? In the belly?

Focus on the sensation and describe it to yourself (it feels red, radiating, tight, tingly, etc.).

Now imagine you’re untangling the knots, or sending soothing cool waves of water, or sensing the lift of it floating away.

A look down a long dock facing the sun, representing the values we live by.

10. List your values.

Make a list of values you WANT to live by, not values you do live by.

I’m talking about things like responsibility, love, creativity, persistence, etc.

Are these the values you are actually living by?

Does that change the way you feel about how you face your challenges?

11. Emulate a hero.

Find a character in a movie or book or real life and imagine how they would handle this situation.

Now pretend to be them.

How would they think of this new challenge?

How do they see themselves handling it?

What kind of body language are they displaying?

Read more about this approach in my shyness post. (5)

12. Change your wording.

“I am scared” holds a different meaning than “I feel scared.”

Stop using “I am” for ideas you don’t want to embody. Use “I feel” instead.

Remember you are not your fear.

13. Breathe out slowly.

When we are afraid, we tend to hold our breath.

Breathe.

Make sure the exhales are longer than the inhale. It calms your nervous system.

This one is especially helpful for me.

My girlfriend Bonnie always says “Remember to breathe!” (Thanks Bon!) (16)

14. Help your future self.

That person you will become tomorrow, is counting on you to do your part today.

Remember your future self is relying on you to get it done.

Make your future self proud of you. Read more on how to do this in another one of my posts.(17)

15. Take bite-sized pieces.

Is there a way to break this scary task into parts?

If you look at all the little parts by themselves, it’s often not so scary.

Especially if you concentrate on one little part at a time.

16. Relax your face muscles.

Squish your face very tightly.

Now hold it.

Hold it some more.

Tighten it a little bit more.

Now let go and shake your head quickly to loosen up your jaw.

Feel better? Now go take on the world.

A clean space makes you feel more confident.

17. Clean up.

Sometimes fear feels chaotic.

If you can calm your space, it can influence how you feel.

Create a calm, clean, relaxed space with very little visual clutter, and then take on your heebie-jeebies. (18)

18. Less is more.

Is there a way to do a smaller version of this?

Can you shave off extra steps?

19. Stop talking about it.

Sometimes you need your internal motivation to push you forward.

Stop talking about it, so the bottled up energy forces you to just do the d*mn thang.

20. Start talking about it.

Alternatively, sometimes you need to share your feelings of anxiety and fear.

Talking it through with friends or family can help you realize why it scares you and what to do about it.

21. Rehearse.

Is there a way to practice this situation?

Can you rehearse it so it feels normal to you?

A lot of athletes rehearse their performance in their mind. They imagine their event all the way from getting dressed to getting high fives at the end.

They notice every part of the process along the way.

22. Accept imperfection.

If you think it needs to be perfect, you may never get it started or may never finish it.

Let it be rough and ready and then go back and make changes later.

Get ‘er done.

23. Move your body.

Movement can create deep physiological changes that will help you feel more confident and powerful.

It doesn’t matter what kind of movement.

Take a walk, swim, dance, do yoga, jump up and down.

Just get movin’ and notice how much calmer you feel.

24. Shake it like a dog.

Or a Polaroid picture.

Shaking your whole body releases tension.

Other animals do this just after a tense situation.

Dr. David Berceli calls it neurogenic tremors, which makes it sound like a bad thing. But it’s not!

You can do it standing, sitting, or laying down. (19)

Try it. It’s fun.

25. Talk big.

I had a cousin who would always stretch the truth.

We didn’t always believe him, but it was clear he was entertained by it.

Try talking yourself up, and making your accomplishments sound grander and bigger than they actually were.

Give a wink and a smile when you do it so people know you’re stretching it on purpose.

For example, “I got a new job last week,” becomes “I got a new job last week and they realized I was so great they promoted me to CEO.” (wink, smile)

“I went and to the store this morning to buy bread for my breakfast” becomes “I drove all the way to Texas this morning to buy Texas sized-toast for my world-famous breakfasts.” (wink, smile)

Making yourself sound larger-than-life can infuse you with confidence.

26. Celebrate small wins.

Whenever you do something courageous, reward yourself.

Make sure you really enjoy and notice the reward for maximum benefit.

I wrote about the importance of celebrating yourself not long ago. (20)

Your childhood holds hidden clues to trauma and fear

31. Ask around.

Who else has done what you’re trying to do?

They may have some ideas of how to approach it. They may have been scared too.

Network with friends and family to see if anyone can talk with you about how they felt and how they got through it.

32. Know being unique is valued.

Sometimes we are scared to seem a little different than others.

In many cases, being unique is valued in this society, but we just don’t teach people that.

Many famous people got famous because they decided not to worry about doing things differently than the other people around them.

They made their own path. They are admired for it.

It’s okay to stand out.

33. Do your homework.

If you’re feeling worried, you may just need to do some research.

There are tons of books, podcasts, videos and classes out there to help you take that step forward.

Dig in and feel the power of education. Just don’t let that stop you from moving forward.

Get what you need in information land and get movin’.

If you’re the type to research too much, read my post on read my post on why over-researching can hinder your success. (8)

34. Join a group.

There are support groups and masterminds for all kinds of endeavors.

There are also meet-ups and zoom rooms full of people who are going the same direction as you.

Link arm-in-arm with a group of people to get that extra boost you need.

35. Get a mentor.

Find or hire a professional who has been-there-done-that.

Connect with your own Yoda for your Jedi training.

I love Yoda.

“Do or do not…there is no try.” Yoda, Star Wars, George Lucas

36. Make friends with others doing it.

They may not be a part of your circle of friends, but there are others out there doing what you want to do.

Use your connections to get introduced. Respectfully reach out to with someone who is doing it already.

They could be inspiring and you may get inside tips or insights.

37. Ask a lot of questions.

If you’re gonna do something and you feel unsure about it, ask a ton of questions.

I do this whenever I get a medical procedure done.

I ask what it will look like if it goes right. I ask what could go wrong, how often it goes wrong. I also ask what to expect afterwards, what machines they’ll be using. How this will benefit me, and more.

This wealth of information often gives me a small sense of control.

38. Become a role model.

Someone you know is watching you, like your kids, or your brother, or your best friend.

Forget the fear and show them how it’s done, so they can follow suit.

39. Plan to teach it to someone else.

Similarly, think of those you can teach once you’ve learned something that makes you nervous.

How many people can you influence?

Who else will benefit?

40. Get hypnotized.

Professional hypnosis, also known as hypnotherapy has been helpful for some who experience high anxiety in certain situations.

You can also learn how to hypnotize yourself.

41. Narrow your choices.

Sometimes you feel anxious because there are too many decisions to be made.

Find someone who can narrow it down for you. For example, hire an interior designer when you’re wanting to remodel your bathroom.

If you want more examples, I talk more about it in my free .pdf that you receive when you sign up for my newsletter (see the sign up area at the top of this post).

42. Eat better.

Digesting more fruits, vegetables and water will give you more clarity, energy and focus.

You will also feel happier with yourself.

Treat yourself better, and you will feel more in control.

I noticed a big difference with my diet change. I talk about it in my post about the Add-In Diet. (22)

43. Stay Informed.

Keeping an ear to the ground with a fact-based, non-biased news source.

Being in the know can help you make decisions easier and quicker and with more confidence.

44. Prepare for the future.

Preparations for the future can lower your fears of what will happen in a disaster.

I’m talkin’ having an emergency savings, stocking up on supplies.

It’s also a good idea to have a first aid kit and bandages for an unexpected cut in your foot.

Or for when you want to play doctor with your sexy significant other. (23)

45. See a doctor.

If you’re feeling nervous all the time, are jumpy, or overwhelmingly afraid, a medical doctor may be able to help.

Sometimes anxiety is based on an underlying health issue.

Get yourself checked out.

46. Give up caffeine.

Coffee, tea, and sodas can contain caffeine which can make you feel more agitated, enough that you’ll feel more tense.

Cut back or give them up.

Chocolate has caffeine too, but I’m not going to risk getting nasty letters by suggesting anyone should give it up.

47. Have an agreement.

Sometimes you don’t want to move forward with a plan because you are unsure of how it will affect your spouse or child.

Besides having a frank discussion about it, consider creating a written contract where everyone agrees to their roles and expectations.

48. Send love to mean people.

Some people want to tear you down simply because they feel badly about themselves.

Send them your love.

Then ignore them and do your thang.

49. See it as an adventure.

The hormone adrenaline shoots through your body when you feel fear.

And guess what? Adrenaline also shows up when you feel excitement.

The only difference between fear and excitement is the story you’re telling yourself.

So tell yourself it’s a fun adventure.

Read more about how I used this approach myself. (24)

50. Gamify it.

Make your goal into a game.

Give it rules.

Give it penalties (like the “go to jail” card in the game of Monopoly).

Give it rewards (like the “Advance to go and collect $200” card in Monopoly)

Give it a clear ending, and figure out a fun way to track your progress.

Ready, set, go!

51. Connect it to something you do regularly.

Add an extra element to all of your normal daily routines.

You want to write a book but it scares you?

Write five sentences after every meal.

You want to find a new job? Network with a different friend on the phone each day when you walk your dog.

52. Do it at your highest energy of the day.

We have more confidence and more willpower when we have more energy.

I am a morning person, therefore, doing scary things is easier just after I wake up.

Do the hard thing at your highest energy moment.

53. Become fascinated.

Reframe your thinking.

Use your imagination and look at the situation passionately or with a feeling of exhilaration, instead of a feeling of dread.

54. Journal.

Writing down your thoughts and fears can be helpful.

Get it on paper where you can see it.

Draw diagrams, plans and brainstorm possibilities for getting courageous.

55. Practice stoicism.

Stoics are philosophers who acknowledge that pain is a normal part of life.

They accept pain to be among the experiences they have.

Instead of avoiding it, they calmly accept it and live with it.

56. Adopt the mantra “I am strong.”

Because you are.

57. Know your wealth.

Often our hesitation comes from concerns about money.

It’s smart to be careful with your money, but it’s also risky to be too careful.

Learn the basics of financial wealth.

It’s not as hard as you may imagine. And it’s not as boring either.

It can also be helpful to know where you stand in the world of the wealthy.

My post about gaining instant wealth will help you see where you stand. Believe me, it’s worth a read. (25)

58. Just say no.

If you’re afraid of getting overwhelmed, because you already have too much on your plate, you may be saying yes to too many things.

Learn how to focus only on your highest goals and values.

Learn to say no so you feel you have the time, energy, and money for what’s important. (26)

59. Just say yes.

Say yes to everything related to your goal for a specified time.

Afraid of people? Say yes to all invitations every July.

Afraid of animals? Say yes to all interactions with furry beasts on your morning walks.

Afraid of starting a business? Say yes to every opportunity to explore with classes, podcasts, spending time with other business owners, all of it for six months.

An overarching rule will keep you from second guessing each individual moment or opportunity.

60. Resolve to keep trying.

Forward movement will require more than one try.

For best results, resolve never to give up.

Make persistence one of your top values.

This reminds me of my best advice for New Year’s Resolutions. (27)

Lady with a megaphone announcing her plans to her friends.

61. Announce it to the world (take advantage of peer pressure).

Sometimes feeling peer pressure is motivating, so use it to your advantage.

Make a public announcement about what you are going to achieve.

Then feel the eyes of others while moving forward (If you read #1, though, this may not work).

62. Test the waters.

Is there a way to get an appetizer-sized version to wet your whistle?

What can give you a little more practice or confidence for the main event?

For example, if you want to ask a girl out, start by asking a stranger what time it is.

63. Brainstorm.

Brainstorming is writing down all the different crazy ways you could get this done.

Maybe the way you currently see it is the hardest way to do it.

Get creative. Ask yourself a question that bestselling author and podcaster Tim Ferriss likes to ask himself.

“What would this look like if it were easy?” (28)

64. Clear your chakras.

If energy work sound appealing, open your chakras.

Focus especially on your root, heart and throat chakras. (29)

65. Practice reiki.

Reiki is a cross between meditation and energy work.

It’s known to calm anxiety.

You can practice it yourself. Or you can get a Reiki healer to work a healing for you.

My friend Yvonne Fox is a Reiki healer. (30)

66. Create boundaries.

If you fear that others are expecting too much from you, make a limiting rule (a boundary).

For example, in the beginning of our relationship, my husband was a free-spender.

We used my credit card a lot, and I was nervous I’d not be able to pay it off.

So I created a boundary and said “no more credit cards.”

He shrugged and said “okay, cool.”

Now he’s a careful spender and we have savings instead of debt.

That first boundary made future changes possible. And it’s helped our relationship feel more secure too.

For more on relationships check out my post. (31)

Theodore Roosevelt admired people who worked hard.

67. Remember hard is good.

If it’s hard, you’re on the right track.

Most things worth doing are challenging.

Congratulate yourself that you’ve chosen something hard, and then do it.

“No kind of life is worth leading if it is always an easy life.” -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States (32)

68. Call it “an opportunity.”

Each disaster has the seeds of something new.

Let’s say you found out your business partner embezzled thousands of dollars.

Instead of crawling under the desk in fear and horror, call it “an opportunity.”

This may be the opportunity to find a better partner.

An opportunity to get a new system for keeping tabs of your money.

An opportunity to create and sell something amazing in order to pay your bills.

At some point you’ll get through the “disaster” and look back at all the changes and growth and be thankful, so why not start out that way and skip the freak-out?

Every cloud has a silver lining as the old saying goes.

What you say to yourself matters.

69. Do the easy or fun parts first.

If you’ve broken down your goal into parts, try doing the fun or easy parts first to get your momentum going.

You’ll get excited and keep going for the harder parts.

I talk more about this concept in a post about procrastination.(10)

70. Know how successful people feel.

Successful people are human too.

They were scared the entire time they were getting famous or rich or highly skilled.

Actors, writers, politicians, athletes, you name it, they are all scaredy cats.

What did they do differently? They kept going.

Don’t believe me? Watch all of the masterclass videos (like I did). Almost everyone talks about being afraid. (33)

71.Give yourself a deadline.

Sometimes you just need to rip off the band-aid.

Quit torturing yourself with feeling nervous.

Give yourself a deadline and make it a short one.

72. Shrink the task or make it friendlier in your mind.

Imagine the thing you’re going to do as non-threatening.

Imagine climbing a mountain as “tending to a molehill in my garden.”

Imagine giving a long-*ss speech in front of a big crowd as “giving a high five to my best friend.”

Imagine going to a big gala as “hanging out in the kitchen with my sister.”

A real bear is terrifying but a toy version is not.

73. Befriend your fear.

Your imagination is amazing.

Give scary things names as if they are your buddy.

I was afraid of spiders, so I’d give them names like “Maven” and “Dutoi” and “Camille.”

They felt like friends more than enemies.

You can do the same with creatures, events, or big projects that make you fearful.

Name that airplane “Francis,” and say “thanks for taking me to see my family, Francis!”

Name that business idea “Joe,” and say “I’m gonna go hang out with Joe for a while.”

74. Get a job.

Some jobs will force you to do the thing you’re afraid of.

Exposure helps. It helps even more to get paid for it.

Nervous to talk to people? Get a job as a waitress or salesman.

Nervous around kids? Volunteer at a school.

75. Get Sleep.

Believe it or not, a well-rested mind can do wonders for your courage.

Catch some zzzz’s.

76. Realize fear is giving you a reward.

Sometimes we don’t do something because we are benefitting from not doing it.

You may not even be aware that you’re profiting from avoidance.

That hidden benefit may be stopping you from moving forward.

Check out my post on those hidden rewards. (34)

77. Look at the evidence.

Find studies that help support your courage.

Knowing stats can also make failure seem less concerning.

For example, in baseball, the very best batters in the world miss six out of every 10 times they try to hit the ball.

They call it “batting 400” or a “.400 batting average.” That’s a 60% failure rate. (35)

And yet they are the highest paid athletes in baseball.

A lucky rock can help you feel more confident

78. Get a lucky charm.

Superstition can be useful as long as it’s not taken too seriously.

Put a favorite coin or pebble in your pocket to hold onto when you’re nervous.

Wear your favorite perfume when driving through rush hour.

Wear your lucky golf shirt when riding the rollercoaster with your grandson.

79. Fake it till you make it.

Most so-called “fearless” people are faking it on the outside.

Do like they do and go through the motions.

Ignore the basket of butterflies in your stomach like they do too.

Everyone will think you’re fearless.

80. Visualize a peaceful scene.

This one is tried and true.

Imagine yourself in a place that makes you feel relaxed and safe.

For some that will be an open field with poppy flowers and butterflies. For others it will be a quiet library filled with books.

For me, it’s sitting in a hot tub filled with chocolate sauce.

81. Drink Water.

Dehydration can cause your mood to dip.

You can feel down and anxious. Not exactly the best place to be when facing a first date or meeting your spouses boss.

Drink more water and feel up to the task.

82. Find a recipe.

Often you can find step-by-step instructions to help you through all kinds of things.

You are not the first person to face the panic of planning a vacation for you and your new honey.

Ask others which steps they take. Look for a breakdown online.

Take it one step at a time.

Chances are it’s already been figured out for you.

83. Tell yourself that “fear is the mind killer.”

Fear floods the mind with hormones that make it hard to think clearly, especially when it’s a panic situation.

Paul Atreides from Dune (Frank Herbert’s book turned into movie), was trained to suppress fear with the mantra “Fear is the mind killer.”

He uses it to stay alive in this great story.

Can you tell I love sci-fi?

84. Analyze the ride.

Did you suck the last time you did something? Now you’re scared to do it again?

Figure out what went wrong.

Analyzing the good and the bad in an experience can give you insight and confidence when trying it again.

If it’s not obvious to you where you went wrong, ask someone else to help you figure it out. You may have a blind spot.

85. Remember a time you conquered something.

Thinking about past accomplishments will help you get brave for your new adventure.

Want to learn how to fly a plane?

Remember that you now know how to drive a car. Learning how to drive a car was scary at first too.

86. Get bragging rights.

It’s fun to tell others about your jungle adventure, or the time you dated a model.

You can only do that if you get brave and do it first.

87. Embrace pain as a teacher.

Sometimes growth is painful but worth it.

You may have to say goodbye to the neighborhood you love in order to get that new job in Cincinnati.

You may have to lift that dumbbell one more time to get those sculpted biceps.

I lift dumbbells all the time, although my cats don’t appreciate being called dumbbells.

88. Try tapping.

Tapping is a process that stimulates meridian points on your body to help relieve tension and trauma.

89. Make it a joke.

Poke a little fun at yourself and make something that feels serious a little lighter hearted. Make jokes about it, even if it’s just to yourself.

Humor is a great tool and can be learned. I’m practicing my sense of humor on this blogging site. I’m sure I fail most of the time, sorry for the torture.

Make it fun.

Check out websites that help you be more humorous. (36)

90. Connect with nature.

Doctors in Canada give prescriptions for their patients to “get out in nature.”

It lowers anxiety and has a list of other health benefits.

This could mean spending time in your own backyard. Or your nearest park. Or the ocean. Or hanging out with the moldy apple core in your refrigerator.

Whatever feels like a nature experience to you is what works.

91. Hug yourself.

I figure there is always the three of us… me, myself and I.

When I hug myself I realize I’m not alone. Plus it feels great and lowers tension.

Give it a try right now.

Loved ones who support you make you feel more secure.

92. Spend time with those you love.

Lower your stress by spending quality time with friends and pets and family.

93. Question catastrophic thinking.

If you’re the type to immediately think the worst.

Ask yourself if there are other possibilities.

“I WILL die if I get on that plane” could be “It will be a non-eventful, boring plane ride” or “I could meet someone interesting on that plane.”

94. Pre-meditate.

This is the opposite of number 93 above.

It’s practiced by the Stoics.

Look ahead at the next 24 hours and imagine all the things that could go wrong.

Then prepare for those upsets.

Accept the challenges that come up because you already anticipated them as possibilities.

95. Practice hardship.

The Stoic Seneca suggests practicing things that are hard so you are not scared if it happens.

For example, eat only cold rice for a week. Sleep on a hard floor.

Tell yourself “this is what’s it’s like to have nothing.”

Not only will you appreciate a warm, well-rounded meal and a soft bed, but you’ll not be so afraid of hard times.

You already experienced being uncomfortable and learned it’s survivable.

(Thanks Tim Ferris for hipping me to Seneca) (28)

96. Chose JOMO instead of FOMO.

FOMO means “Fear of missing out.” It’s when you feel stressed about something that everyone else is doing.

These days, it’s a “thing” to go-go-go because it’s become fashionable to respond to that fear.

You don’t need to respond.

Instead, you can choose JOMO, the “Joy of missing out.”

It’s when you choose to spend your time doing things you love instead of doing something that someone else planned.

That may be gardening instead of going to the big sale. Or throwing a ball in the park with your dog, instead of going to the expensive luncheon.

You can think about it as “I’m not a slave to fashion.”

97. Entertain scientific ideas.

Have you heard about the multiverse?

It’s a scientific theory that there are unlimited alternate universes out there.

Universes that parallel ours in most ways. It’s not proven yet and it’s controversial, but it’s fun to imagine.

Think of this.

If it’s true, there will be multiple versions of you because some of those universes will be near duplicates. That means, all the different versions of you will have slightly different experiences for any single circumstance.

It’s fun to get curious about which outcome will happen in your universe.

Don’t get scared, get curious.

98. Imagine a bubble.

Imagine a protective energy bubble surrounding you.

Make it strong and any color that makes you feel powerful, like gold or white or bright green.

Pretend nothing bad can get through your imaginary bubble.

Negative words and energy just bounce off it.

99. Do Kapalabhati breath.

This is also known as the breath of fire.

It’s great for mustering up high energy to face what you have to face.

100. Trust your higher power.

Some say it as “let go & let God.”

You are not in control of most of what happens in your life.

Trust the universe, or God or your higher power has your back.

Trust that you’ll learn and grow from each experience.

101. Give to those you hate.

Give a painful amount of money, in check form, to a friend.

Tell them they must give the money to your least favorite political party if you don’t accomplish your goal by a specific date.

If you get it done, you get the check back and can tear it up.

102. Embrace failure.

The more often you can fail, the better.

Michael Jordan, the highly paid celebrated basketball player has missed getting the ball in the hoop over 12,000 times. He fails more than he scores, but he doesn’t let that stop him.

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their attitude towards failure”-John Maxwell, author, public speaker and life coach.

Try to fail as fast and as often as you can.

103. Put on your war paint.

Does putting on your make-up make you feel more confident and powerful?

Do it.

104. Dress sharply.

Study how successful people dress then go buy yourself one outfit that makes you feel amazing and powerful.

When I was a student I started a multi-level marketing side business. I needed to go to people’s homes and make a sale.

I was crazy nervous about it.

I scraped some money together and bought one outfit.

It was an all black business suit with a skirt. The collar and cuffs were white. I looked amazing. I felt amazing. It made me feel like a million bucks.

I moved and talked differently in that suit. You will too.

It’s worth the money.

105. Wear combat boots.

In some cases, wearing a pare of kick-*ss combat boots can also make you feel like a powerhouse.

To each his own.

106. Do a tribal war dance.

At the risk of cultural appropriation, consider creating your own “war dance” like many tribes and cultures have.

The purpose is to mentally prepare for “battle” even if the battle is giving your cat a bath. (kidding, cat’s bathe themselves.)

Here is a collection of clips showing rugby teams from New Zealand, Samoan, Fiji and Tonga teams for inspiration.

107. Burn it.

Write down your fears and then burn them (safely), while saying goodbye.

Feel the fears loosen as they go up in smoke.

108. Tell yourself that “fear is not helpful.”

My girlfriend Synthia is a sailor.

She’s often on a boat by herself or with a tiny crew in the middle of the ocean. She must deal with emergencies and challenges without help from the outside world.

When in those dangerous situations, she tells herself “fear is not helpful.”

She’s done it so much that the fear disappears in a blink. (Thanks Syn!)

109. Get some sun.

Vitamin D comes from getting a little sun exposure everyday.

It helps lowers anxiety.

In areas of the world where sun exposure is not possible, or recommended, then supplementation is often recommended by doctors.

Ask your doc. (37)

110. Give yourself a pep talk.

Even though if feels ridiculous, it actually works.

Look yourself in the mirror and give yourself a talk.

Say some nice stuff.

Tell yourself you have everything you need to succeed.

Tell yourself all the wonderful things that people who love you would say.

Pat yourself on the back or give yourself a high five at the end.

You rock!

111. Place a bet.

Make a bet with someone that you will do what you’ve set out to do.

Make sure everyone knows the rules and the winnings.

One fun option is to make the bet with someone who is trying to accomplish something too. Whomever makes it happen first wins the bet.

112. Know that most things are reversible or changeable.

Most things you do are not permanent.

Sure, it might cost you some time or money, to repaint your house because the color you picked looks like baby poo.

It is still fixable with time and effort.

Very few things are truly set in stone. Shrug it off and try again.

113. Have a plan B.

Have a contingency plan in case your grand plan doesn’t work out.

This can give you an extra layer of feeling secure.

114. Know the impact, even if it doesn’t go your way.

I share my mistakes and lessons with others because I believe it can be helpful.

Whether you win or lose or just have “an experience.” You can impact others lives by sharing your outcomes.

115. Know they are not part of your life.

Let’s talk more about mean people.

I’m sorry. There ARE mean people out there. But you know what? There’s not that many of them.

People who delight saying bad things are not going to be your friends anyway.

Because you wouldn’t want to be friends with them, right? No.

If you wouldn’t let them into your life, why let them into your head?

Why give them the satisfaction of ruining your day?

116. Take care of yourself first.

When dealing with fear for the safety of others, remember to put yourself first.

You can’t help others if you are sleepy, fatigued, hungry, dehydrated, or lonely.

Your best bet for saving others is to save yourself first.

Lion's breath is a breathing technique for more energy.

117. Do lion’s breath.

Also known as Simha breath.

It promotes stress relief and heck, who doesn’t want to feel powerful like a lion?

Scare those inner demons away. (38)

118. Choose adulting.

I find it funny that we’ve made a verb out of this.

“Adulting” is when you choose to act like an adult and not a child.

Other euphemisms like “grow a pair” and “grow up” might be useful to you too, depending on who you are.

Many of us keep our childish side way too long (I’m thinking of myself here…heh).

Life is not always be easy or entertaining, or all about us.

119. Change your body language.

How you stand matters.

A good strong posture makes you feel like you can handle anything.

Change your posture, change your life.

120. Slow down.

Martha Beck, author and life coach, says when life feels overwhelming,

s…l…o…w d…o…w…n.

It’s against what we think we should do. But she’s right. It works. (39)

121. Relax your shoulders.

Push your shoulders up to your ears.

Hold it.

Okay, now relax them down.

Phew!

122. Think of history.

In the history of the world, will any of this really matter?

This is a great question for worriers.

123. Admit weakness.

In all of the “anonymous” clubs, like Alcoholics Anonymous, they promote the idea that admitting weakness is the first step to feeling stronger.

It’s okay to feel your vulnerability.

124. Make them proud.

Think of your ancestors and make them proud.

Keep a picture of your grandfather or your great grand mother with you. Every time you look at the picture, it will remind you that you are carrying on their legacy.

You are their hope.

125. Trust your intuition.

Ask yourself “what is the solution to this challenge?” or “What can make me feel more confident in this situation?”

See if your subconscious comes up with an interesting answer.

See my post on intuition for more ideas. (40)

126. Feel the abundance:

Adopt an abundance frame of mind.

You have so much you don’t need to worry about taking risks.

The universe will provide.

Brene Brown's flagship quote to embrace the suck when doing something you love.

127. Embrace the suck.

Brene brown, author and life coach, talks about allowing yourself to feel vulnerable when taking risks.

She calls it “embracing the suck.” (41)

128. Know your value.

Ask others “what makes me unique?”

“What are my strengths?”

“What do you admire about me?”

You’ll be surprised what others see in you.

129. Get therapy.

Talk therapy with a professional is no longer considered weird or taboo.

Sometimes you need a little extra help. Especially if you’re struggling with fear or anxiety that impacts your life in a big way.

Many programs are paid for by employers or health insurance.

There are also programs with sliding scale payment options.

Go for it and stick with it.

130. Don’t read minds.

We tell ourselves stories.

We have stories about what we believe others think about us.

Stop those stories.

They are probably wrong. You are not a mind reader.

131. Know that winning might be easier than you think.

Scared to launch a business, product or personality driven career?

You don’t need millions of people to love what you’re doing.

You can be really successful and do what you love with just 1000 true fans. (42)

132. Eat your spinach.

Popeye the Sailor, a cartoon character from my childhood (careful), believed he’d get stronger when he at a can of spinach.

He wasn’t far off.

Eating vegetables regularly can help you grow muscles, think more clearly and lower stress. All three benefits help in gaining confidence over fear. (43) (44) (45)

133. Don’t say “it’s been done before.”

Even if it has, it’s never been done by a person like you.

You bring your own flavor and personality to give it it’s uniqueness.

No one has ever done it exactly like you’re gonna do it.

And others will be attracted to your version.

Watch the video above by Kirby Ferguson. It’s entertaining and explains how everyone is riffing off each other.

134. Believe in reincarnation.

Worried you’re gonna get it wrong?

If you can believe in reincarnation (living multiple lives one after the other), then you know you’ll have other chances to get it right.

135. Ask “Is it really true?”

We all have narratives of what things mean.

It may not really be true. We may believe stuff that’s completely made up in our minds.

Byron Katie, life coach, has a very unique viewpoint on anxiety, anger and stress.

She tells us to ask ourselves regularly if it’s really true. We might feel it’s true at the moment, but maybe it’s just true from our viewpoint.

She asks that we look at it from different viewpoints.

She calls this “The Work.” And it’s great for releasing negative thoughts. (46)

136. Surround yourself.

With people who believe in you. They won’t let you give up.

Steven King, the famous horror writer, threw away his first unpublished book!

His wife fished it out of the garbage and gave him a pep talk.

His wife believed in him when he no longer believed in himself. Boy am I glad because I love his books!

Eventually he got it published, of course, and he went on to be a famous author.

Good thing he surrounded himself with people who believed in him.

137.Take time for fun.

Freaked out you’re not going to get everything done?

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” says Sydney J. Harris, American Author and Journalist (47)

Yep. It’s counter-intuitive, but taking time to relax helps you get things done faster. Read more about it in another my post about being exhausted by paperwork. (48)

A hot bath makes you feel like you can take on the world.

138. Sit in a hot bath or hot tub or take a shower.

It feels good.

It’s grounding and gives you time to think and dream.

I always feel like I can take on the world after a hot bath, especially if I add magnesium epsom salts, colloidal oatmeal, or essential oils.

If there is something that makes you feel like you are starting fresh, and gives you the confidence to face the world, do it.

139. Practice Kanban.

Kanban is a Japanese productivity method.

It focuses on creating a list of tasks, putting each task on a real or virtual card. The cards are laid out in columns.

The cards can be in the “to do” column, the “in progress” column or the “done” column.

The key is to have only one card in your “in progress” column at a time.

The only time you pull another card in from your “to do” column is when you have moved the current card to the “done” column, or the task you are working on is on hold because you are waiting for help from someone else.

Kanban helps narrow your focus and can give you a sense of control because you can easily see the flow of work.

This is not only good for efficiency, but can also be great for lowering stress.

140. Stay curious.

If you are afraid of what others will say or think about you, stay open and ask them their thoughts.

Instead of getting defensive, or angry, get curious.

141. Use the mantra “life is messy.”

Perfectionism is rampant in the world of fear triggering experiences.

As long as it’s not physically life threatening (as in going sky diving), you will get a lot farther if you loosen up a bit and let some stuff be not great, not finished, and not perfect.

Read more about this in my imperfect post. (48)

142. Make it look like a cartoon.

Imagine the future as a cartoon.

Make it silly.

Get bonked on the head with a mallet by another character, fall off a cliff and then laugh.

143. Meditate.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, the bodybuilder turned actor turned turned California governor, found that mediation stopped him from feeling overwhelmed. (49)

He used it when he got scared he was going to get buried with too many things to do. Yes, even “The Terminator” worries, but not so much anymore.

Daily meditation can calm the mind and allow for much deeper focus.

Muscle building is good for character building.

144. Lift weights.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger lifts weights, he concentrates solely on the muscle he’s developing. (49)

It’s a practice that teaches his mind to ignore everything else going on in the world and focus only on what he’s working on at that very moment.

Along with meditation, Arnold credits this practice as helpful for keeping his sanity whenever he feels overwhelmed.

Additionally, feeling physically stronger can help you feel more confident and energized.

145. Ujjayi breath.

Another great breathing technique. Also called Ocean Breath. (50)

I practice this breath all the time. Especially when I feel stress in my body, like when I’m cleaning up cat barf (so much fun!).

Speaking of gross thoughts…here’s another one…

146. Eat a sh*t sandwich.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author and speaker says that every project comes with something unpleasant.

She says it’s like eating a “sh*t sandwich.”

She says it’s inevitable, so pick a project so important that you don’t mind eating your sh*t sandwich. (51)

147.Remember “Hurt people hurt people.”

People who are unkind are hurting.

They lash out, say negative things, and are general poo-heads.

They do this because they are unhappy.

It has nothing to do with you.

148. See a shaman.

Get healed energetically if it appeals to you.

I wasn’t sure I believed in energy work, but my friend is a shaman and she’s done some remarkable work that has me believing there must be something to this, even if it’s the placebo effect.

She does remote healing. Her name is Yvonne Fox. I mentioned her earlier. (30)

149. Start anyway.

Many times we don’t start because we don’t know how to do every little part of it.

We can’t see where it’s going to lead.

That’s okay. What’s most important is to start.

You can make adjustments as you go.

Instead of “ready, aim, fire,” try “ready, fire, aim.”

This approach has been recommended in a business marketing book by Michael Masterson. It’s meant for marketing, but you can use also it to get past getting-started nervousness.

Get prepped, get going, then make changes as you learn along the way. (52)

150. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

You may call yourself as a “type A” personality.

You may see yourself as a victim.

You may constantly say “that’s just who I am.”

Just stop it already. All three of these positions are not helpful to you.

Take a chill pill and stop playing a role that doesn’t serve you.

Live a little more care-free. Hang out in the backseat. Be a lot less serious.

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” -Chinese proverb

A cold shower a day can help develop bravery.

If You’re STILL Stuck in Fear

Here is my best advice.

Build self-trust.

In order to do scary things, you need to trust yourself. You can build trust by doing hard things or scary things everyday.

But Michelle, if I’m scared to do something, then I’m scared to do something. How can I make myself do something scary? That don’t make no sense!

I know it doesn’t. What you need to do is start with stuff that is a little tiny bit scary, or a little tiny bit hard, and you work your way up slowly.

Practice, practice, practice!

Tony Robbins, author and life coach, makes himself jump into a cold plunge everyday.

He says he purposefully trains himself to do hard things daily, so that he won’t hesitate when he has to do something else that makes him nervous.

Bravery is a muscle that needs to be trained, built up and kept up.

Do something brave each day, take a cold shower, say hello to a stranger, or go use public restrooms.

Keep flexing those bravery muscles and build up to bigger and bigger challenges.

How My Life Has Changed Because I Dance With Fear

It’s like that movie “Dances with Wolves,” only for me, it’s “Dances with Spiders,” and “Dances with Tight Spaces,” and “Dances with Strangers,” and…

All kidding aside, there are so many things I’ve gotten to experience, and I’m so grateful.

I stuck this list of stuff I’ve experienced at the end because, really, the only people who will be reading this far down are my parents (Hi Mom and Dad!)

Despite my shyness:

- I asked a guy I liked to my high school prom
- I told people the truth (in a kind way) and experienced deeper relationships
- I asked the sexiest man alive out on a date
- I got married to that same guy
- I applied and interviewed for jobs
- I became a salesperson (and had to get past my shyness even more)
- I waited on very famous people as a restaurant and catering server
- I went to a runway modeling audition (egged on by a friend)
- I became a nude model for art students
- I acted in a play
- I spoke to live audiences
- I spoke in other languages to strangers (French & Spanish)
- I spoke in sign language to a woman who was deaf and blind (she touched my hand to read the words…I was terrible at it, but she was kind)
- I lead an a cappella singing group (even though I had never done any singing)
- I hired and fired employees for my husband’s business (sweaty palms the whole way)
- I played my flute for strangers on a sidewalk for money (busking)
- I played drums in a band on stages and in a recording studio

Despite my growing sense of panic in tight spaces:

- I crawled under houses to rescue kittens
- I crawled through a cavern tunnel on a tour

Despite my nervousness of bodily harm:

- I gave a large angry iguana a bath once a week
- I faced ferocious man-eating kittens (I’m joking/not joking…I’ve been in emergency twice for serious cat bites from rescuing feral cats)

Despite my fear of the idea of death (scary AF):

- I euthanize my pets when it’s time
- I helped a friend through hospice

Despite feeling like I didn’t know what the h*ll I was doing:

- I learned how to invest
- I did my own taxes
- I put myself through college
- I taught myself how to cook
- I became a black jack dealer (Adding numbers on the fly? Could I really do that?)
- I became an art and ceramics teacher at the community center
- I started three creative-based businesses for myself and one security business with my husband
- I created a business plan for a business loan
- I negotiated contracts with large businesses
- I learned how to navigate technology
- I changed the head gasket on my car (with a book and some tools)
- I changed the pump on my washing machine (thank you, Youtube)
- I rewired a series of telephone jacks in a house
- I changed out a toilet

Despite my fear of ridicule and bodily harm:

- I learned how to water ski (thanks Dad and Mom!)
- I learned how to surf (thanks Bill!)
- I learned how to snow ski (kinda…thanks hon!)

Despite feeling vulnerable:

- I traveled, camped and hiked in the US by myself
- I moved to France (for a year)
- I lived alone for several years
- I left relationships that were not right for me
- I went through grief counseling
- I filled out a will and health advocate paperwork
- I learned how to make balloon animals (I was afraid of the ‘pop,’ thanks Marc!)
- I saved someone’s life (using the abdominal thrusts method) (53)
- I went shopping (during covid)
- I started this blog

Boy, oh boy, just reading through these reminded me how scared I’ve been, over and over.

I’m not trying to toot my own horn, I’m just sayin’ someone who is a scaredy-cat can still get past a lot of it, and have some marvelous experiences.

Courage is a skill you too can learn.

I’ve learned to deal with those feelings and get braver every year. My fears, worries and anxieties still float through me, but they very rarely rule my day anymore.

My life is full and rich and interesting. Yours will be too!

Live Juicy, Joybird!