**All links are at the bottom of the post, footnote style**

You’re in a Ca-Ca Mood. How Can That Be a Good Thing?

So sorry you’re feeling angry/sad/bored/frustrated… That’s not fun.

And it’s not so easy to get out of it, is it?

Before we go further… there is a formula for shifting out of a bad mood. If you want to give it a try, you can read my blog post about how. (1)

But let’s say you’ve followed my advice on how to shift your feelings, and it’s still not working.

Nothing is working. The grimy plum-colored pickled poopiness is still there, sitting in your core. Gack.

Why is it still there? Certainly, for those who are self aware, switching into a better mood must be desirable, right?

I mean, who WANTS to feel like sh*t?

Me.

Sometimes. Subconsciously.

And you too probably. Even though you think you don’t.

Why do I say that?

Because it’s serving me. It serves you too. We get something very juicy out of it believe it or not.

Being in a frustrated, irritable, caca-doodle-doo frame-of-mind is a gift from your inner soul (cue the angels, please!).

But we don’t need to stay there. We can figure out how to still get what we need and let go of the stinky black cloud that swirls around us.

Shall we look at how to do that?

Bad Mood **Juicy Reward** Number One: Attention

When you are in a grouchy mood, you may unknowingly be craving attention. It could mean you hunger for a feeling of significance or a feeling of connection.

When you want significance, you want to feel like SOMEBODY. You want to feel essential. A “victim” is someone of significance. You can boohoo yourself into the spotlight.

Taking on a victim mentality gives you license to complain or whine. When that happens, all eyes are on you. It feels kinda…good. Yep. Look what misery just got you. It got you attention! Woah

Or sometimes when you’re p*ssed-off, you will turn into a bully to get into the spotlight.

Either way, the attention is on YOU from someone outside yourself.

Don’t think you could be a bully? I didn’t think so either until recently. We are bullies more often than you think. Read more about it on another blog post if you’re curious. (2)

If instead, you long for connection, and feeling lonely, don’t feel weird about it.

Our species needs to connect to continue to stay alive. Connection is so important it’s why solitary confinement in jail is extra awful.

We’re not built to be alone for too long.

If you’re in a bummer mood, and long for connection or significance now you have something to tweet or whine about. You have a reason to tell your story.

You get noticed and people try to make you feel better.

So if you sense your grouchy mood is pointing you in this direction, what can you do about it?

Let go of the urge to whine or bully and just ask for what you need.

Be direct. Be bold and ask for attention.

Go up to your loved one and say “Hey, can I get a long hug?”

Or call up a friend and say “I’m feeling lonely. Can we facetime for a while?”

Or “I know this sounds weird, but I need someone to tell me what they love about me today.”

No one around? Go to the grocery store and chat everyone up.

You’ll be thrilled at how much more connected you feel afterwards.

If you’re shy, please read my blog post on overcoming shyness. (3)

And don’t forget to go to the mirror and say “You Rock!” and give yourself a bear hug. You can be your own best friend. It works every time for me.

Bad Mood **Juicy Reward** Number Two: Downtime

Grumpiness can buy you downtime. Let’s get down with downtime! Woot!

“Ehhhh…yeahhhh, I’m too crabby to get anything done. Scr*w this. I’m not doing a d******mn thing today.”

You then find yourself sulking under a lovely pile of covers and poof! You can avoid doing something boring or hard. Yay! Mission accomplished…but ewwww…who wants to feel heavy and pouty along the way?

Why not outright give yourself permission to rest? Take a nap. Take a shower. Take a walk.

In Bruno Mars’ music video,  he takes this idea to it’s fullest with “The Lazy Song,” and he’s obviously happy about his decision.

 He’s singin’

“Today I don’t feel like doing anything

I just wanna lay in my bed

Don’t feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone

‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything”

We don’t know why he decided to not do anything. Maybe he was in a bad mood and needed a change.

Napping, by the way, is an especially great idea because sleeping can fill your willpower tank! And you can wake up feeling happier and energized! Yep!

Bad Mood **Juicy Reward** Number Three: Over-Indulgence

Oh, what a lovely excuse to eat through a box of Rocky Road ice cream.
Or crack open that six-pack of pale ale? Or buy the next 20 items on The Shopping Network.

Mood altering substances and experiences are the great escape, right?

Let’s count watching 14 hours of cat videos as well.

It’s all over-indulgence and we give ourselves permission to do it because we feel sucky.

I don’t love the idea of giving in to overindulging, but there are ways to get around some of it, if you’re clever-y and reasonably good at reigning it in a hint.

One way is to have work arounds or agreements with yourself to make it less damaging.

For example. I can be one to overeat when I’m in a suck-*ss mood. I have snacking alternatives like:

carrots + peanut butter
100% chocolate bar + coconut rolled-dates,
chopped olives + hummus + whole grain crackers
cat kibble + chicken cat pate + birdseed

I will eat these until I’m stuffed. They are all caloric, but at least they are a tad healthier than a tin of Pringles and a bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.

Another alternative is to watch Saturday Night Live Youtube clips while doing squats.

How about drinking a very large glass of water in between shots of Jose Cuervo?

Or “shopping” by posting photos of shoes on pinterest.

Or buy buy buy and then cancel, cancel, cancel.

Here is the bigger take-away.

If you choose to partake in over-indulgence, why not delight in it? Let’s not make it play the part of a gigantic band-aid on your heart.

Make a mature adult decision and do it with a smile on your face and then live with the consequences of it.

But Michelle, I don’t WANT to indulge. I’d rather avoid the negative consequences, thank you very much. Any other ideas?

Yes, but you’re not going to like it.

You can work through this by feeling what’s hiding underneath your irritable facade.

You can sit with the emotions until we actually feel them.

Often your anger is a mask for sadness or fear or shame.

If you learn to feel it all the way through, you learn that the feeling isn’t so hard to live with, and you release it from your body.

Cry a few tears, or throw a tantrum on the bed.

Or use an excellent tool to feel your emotions called tapping. (4)

You’ll feel so grounded and relieved after letting it all out.

Bad Mood **Juicy Reward** Number Four: Success

Now this one might be worth it.

I’ve procrastinated on important projects to the point of frustrating myself.

This is a good use of grouchy, in my opinion.

Sometimes I get so fed-up that it kicks me in the *ss to get started.

F I N A L L Y some relief. It feels ssooooooooo gooooood to get something done! Yesssss!

If you detect that this might be the case…let your testiness slingshot you to success. The job needs to get done.

If you need a little help…amp it up a bit. Really magnify your frustration and then think how lovely it will be to let it go once you’ve propelled yourself forward.

Hopefully you can do this without calling yourself a bunch of names before doing so. “You good-for-nothing, lazy, loser!” is not becoming and your Labrador will lose respect for you and pee on your stuff, so stop it.

If procrastination is your jam, I already wrote a whole post on it. Check it out. (5)

Bad Mood **Juicy Reward** Number Five: Intuition’s Rescue

Not sure why you’re feeling cantankerous?

Maybe you need to make a change, but you’ve kept it secret from yourself. You are the last to know. Your intuition may be whispering to you.

“Steeeeeve, you have to get out of this job, it’s killing you.”

Or

“Lateeeeesha, your relationship is not working, you need to give it some attention or get out.”

You intuition could be telling you you need to make a big big change.

Let it be a matter of sitting still and thinking for a while.

We have such a lot going on these days and we don’t take time to be with our own thoughts and let them play out.

Find a place to be alone, warm up some organic green tea, turn off your phone, and sit and think.

Give yourself at least a full hour to think things through. Let your mind wander and see what comes up. Your intuition may want to tell you some stuff you’ve been ignoring.

If you want to know more about digging into your intuition, read more here on my blog. (6)

If your relationship needs a jump start (before giving up on it), I’ve got more reading on that too! (7)

Heed and Honor Your Surly Self

Bad moods are natural and healthy. They are also gifts to yourself.

As you can see, the over-arching theme here is to be kind to yourself.

It’s not about grabbing a stick and beating yourself up.

It’s not about torturing yourself with circus clowns until you belch out a belly laugh.

It’s about getting curious and identifying what’s happening.

Move through your tunnel of muddy gloom and gracefully get on with it.

Perfect Schmerfect.

Celebrate your ugly and use it to your advantage.

Live Juicy, Joybird!

 Posts

1 How To Shift Into Happy

2 I Just Learned I’m A Bully; Are You?

3 How To Overcome Shyness And Build Your Self Confidence

5 13 Ways To Get Unstuck, You Procrastinating B*stard, You

6 How To Follow Your Intuition (To Cheat Death Or Get Rich)

7 Your Relationship; Advice That Will Change Your Life

Links

4 The Tapping Solution

Photos

Grumpy Emoji: Freestocks

Juice: Pixabay

Attention: Schvets Production

Argument: Yan Krukov

Hug: Andrea Piacquadio

Hiding In Bed: Ron Lach

Chocolate Mouth: Karolina Grabowska

Healthy Snacking: Trang Doan

Shopping Delight: Tim Douglas

Tantrum: Keira Burton

Get It Done: Ketut Subiyanto

Intuition Bulb: Lilartsy

Sitting: Teona Swift

Thinking Soldier: Rodnea Productions