**All links are at the bottom of the post, footnote style**

Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork

I had to work on our taxes the other day. 

I had to pay our bills the other day. 

I had to fill out some applications the other day. 

I had to scan some information the other day.

See a pattern? This is my life and often times it makes me miserable. I’ll be stuck for days tap-tap-tap dancing across my keyboard, doing really tedious paperwork and feeling the flame of my irritable, grouchy self ignite. 

Resentment builds every time I spend days focused on something deeply boring, but unavoidable. It’s usually something that needs at least half my brain cells (12 neurons to be exact) to do the job. 

Who do I resent? The hubs, that’s who. 

Paperwork Responsibilities Haunted Our Relationship

He’s self employed and he get’s things done in his own business, but he avoids other paperwork-y type stuff as much as possible, much to my chagrin. 

Chagrin, as it turns out (I looked it up), means distress. As the dull hours and days flit past me,  I suffer, and then I make him suffer. 

I mean, why do I have to be the one to make the four-hour calls to Verizon, right?  He is capable to do this type of thing, but a lot of times he chooses not to. 

So I turn to that age-old never-fail tool that every wife has in her back pocket…I nag. 

Does nagging your significant other work for YOU? Yeah, I thought so. Me neither. 

I also tried lists, boundaries, and throwing tantrums. Nothing has worked. I can’t get him to do any more of that type of work than he is willing to do. 

I Needed a Better Solution to My Paperwork Stress

So last year, while on a walk, I decided to confront him.

“How is it you feel comfortable to ignore a lot of the paperwork stuff in our life?”

“Because most of it is bullsh*t” he replied.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not worth my time. I do it if I have to. Some of it never gets done and nothing comes of it. Some of it I get to eventually. I do it when I feel like doing it.”

“But what if there is a late fee or you screw something up by ignoring it?” I pressed..certain he’d feel the heat of my inquisition, the fire of indignation welling up inside me.

He shrugged “I don’t really care that much.”

I huffed.

“This frustrates me.” I said,  “How come we are so different? Why does it matter so much more to me than it does to you?”

After taking a long minute to think about it, he finally said, “I guess I have always wanted to live a more bohemian lifestyle. I like being creative and relaxed and I hate dealing with the stuff that’s not worth my time. You should try it.”

What?

I should try it?

He went on to say that stuff can wait. It can all wait.

It’s okay if there is a little fallout when things don’t get done on time. He didn’t seem concerned when he said that. (How does he DO that??? I’m constantly concerned!)

My Husband’s Solution to My Paperwork Woes

He suggested that life is too damn short not to include art, music and fun.

He also said I’m going to continue to be grouchy unless I make an effort to take meaningful breaks and let other things slide a bit, even if it costs us a penalty here and there.

Huh.

He was right, of course.

I was tired of being on the same not-so-merry-go-round I’d been on for most of my life. And I was tired of being irritated and chagrinned. And I was tired of having to look up words like chagrin when I had better things to do, like art.

Okay. Fine. So I set aside a Sunday to give it a try. 

It was hard because I see myself as SUPER RESPONSIBLE and I was in the middle of pulling tax paperwork together, and when Sunday showed up, I had Not. Yet. Finished.

Sh*t.

I Had Promised Myself a Bohemian Day

That’s what I call it. Because if my husband can be a bohemian, so can I.

Can I tell you how very hard it was for me to put off finishing the tax paperwork? Because I’m “responsible” and a responsible person would finish this stuff up, right?

But you know what popped into my head and nudged me a little more towards taking the day off? The old “sharpening the saw” story.

The story is in Steven Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People.”  It’s sold over 25 million copies. (1)

He has this story in the beginning of his 7th habit chapter. It’s the habit of self-renewal. 

I’d read the book years ago, but I have to admit, it’s the HARDEST habit for me to even think about, much less cultivate.

If you don’t have a saw, use an axe!

If you don’t know his sawing wood story, here it is my own version of it:   

A woodcutter is working his *ss off,  trying to cut through a tree. An annoying passerby tells him he could get through the tree faster if he stops to sharpen the blade of his saw. He says he’s too busy to stop, so it takes him all day to cut down the tree because his saw is dull.

Here is the situation stated differently:

Unsharp Saw Scenario= 4 hours of sawing + 15 minutes of bathroom breaks + 20 minutes of procrastination texting + 1 hour of frustration-eating-while-youtubing

Vs. 

Sharp Saw Scenario =  20 minutes of sharpening the blade + 45 minutes of sawing + 5 minutes of bathroom breaks + 20 minutes of procrastinating texting

You do the math.

Okay, never mind. I made a pretty infographic for you:

See how much more time you actually end up with??? Wowie Kapowie.

What Does Sharpening The Saw Look Like?

Sharpening the saw means taking some time off to take care of yourself.

This means taking time to exercise, eat right, or get enough sleep.

It means taking time to connect with loved ones. 

It can also mean you take time to do something truly relaxing, meaningful, or fun. 

This way your brain works better and you feel up to tackling the paper tiger, or some other exhausting, bothersome, boring task.

I don’t mean stuff you do when you procrastinate. It has to be purposeful and offer something that feels satisfying. There is a difference between procrastinating busy work and productive work. I have another post you can read comparing the two. (2)

Stopping to sharpen the saw makes sense.

It made sense when I read the idea 25 years ago. 

Did I BELIEVE it? Yep. I did.

Did I LIVE it? No way in h*ll.

Why Sharpening the Saw Is Hard for Some People

I bet there are a lot of you out there who don’t take time for themselves.

I’ve been kicking and screaming against this idea for a while now because I didn’t trust myself.

I was SCARED that if I had fun, I’d never get anything done.

I was SCARED that I wouldn’t be successful.

I was SCARED that my “fun” moments would end up be empty and meaningless.

But guess what? I’ve decided that it’s better to give myself a chance and trust I will still get things done, and that I’ll still be successful.

I figure nervous but happy is better than exhausted, irritable and resentful.

So I did it…I’m going to dive deep into…

My First Bohemian Day

It started the day before. I had to make a solid decision that I was not going to check my emails, open snail mail, make a call to the insurance company, or reach out to my CPA.

I promised myself I would turn off all digital devices and do something that felt natural, fun and maybe even creative.

I doubt you’re all that interested in what I did on my Bohemian Day.  In fact, you’re probably sitting here daydreaming about what YOU would do on your Bohemian Day.

But in interest of self congratulatory smugness, I’ll give you a view of my first Bohemian Day.

I warn you, it may not appeal to you because everyone is different.

I pulled some weeds and trimmed some trees, I did it really mindfully and sucked in the sunshine and smell of freshly killed green things, which felt glorious.

I cleaned up the dried cat pee behind our sofa. It had been bugging me for a while and I did it while singing along to dance tunes by Bruno Mars. It felt like such a relief to have it clean again. Don’t laugh. I just didn’t feel I had time to get to it.

I dug through an unorganized mess in the shed (after the recent move, see my post) and uncovered my ceramics tools, much to my joy. And then..(3)

I  spent the evening sketching out my a future clay sculpture while watching a show on HGTV.

I enjoyed every minute of my day. I felt grounded, I felt happy.

Of course I finished up my tax paperwork on Monday and got it turned in on Tuesday. It was only one day later than I wanted it to be and it was worth the delay. I felt more focused and happy to sit and get it done. 

The greatest part of it was that I didn’t get poopy with my hubby. Resentment gone. That was worth a day, for sure.

I now have a lot fewer irritable squabbles with husband-man. Less stress in me = less stress in my marriage. Nice.

Over the months I’ve crafted my Bohemian Day specifically for the arts. I draw, I paint, I play with clay, I take pictures, I write music, I play the drums. I get into my creative groove.

And I stay away from paperwork, texting, phone calls, meetings, and the mailman. 

A Hint Less Responsible = More Time For Important Stuff

So I’ve changed.

Now, when I see an overcharge on my bank statement, I say to myself, “this kind of thing usually takes two hours of my time to resolve. Is the money I gain worth my time and irritation?”

If the answer is no, $10 is not worth two hours of my time, then I ignore it. 

Do I really need to organize all of my old invoices by date?

Do I really need to download all of the instructions for my appliances?

Do I really need to shred every piece of paper?

Do I really need to research five airlines before finding a suitably priced ticket?

Do I really need to respond to every email?

Most of the time the answer is no. So I have more time. Things are a little more sloppy, but the important stuff still gets done and I’m a lot happier.

Live Your Values and Priorities

How about you? Too responsible? Too overwhelmed? Too busy? Resentful? Irritable?

Don’t keep making the same mistake I kept making…

Start prioritizing your most important things in life. Stop spending all your time doing the mundane little details that ultimately won’t matter.

And take a day off.

Or at least half a day.

Or at least do ONE thing today that makes you feel like you’ve got all the time in the world…be it taking a bath, baking some cookies, doing some quilting, shooting some hoops or adding that second carburetor on the VW bug you’ve been longing to work on.

Feel good the whole way without giving a second thought to what tomorrow will bring.

It’s time to restore, relax, and rejuvenate. That means “life’s too short to be a paper-work-head.”

Here’s your last hint: The next time you find yourself see-SAWing between work and procrastination…take some time off for deep recreation.

Live Juicy, Joybird!

Posts

2 Are You Busy or Meaningfully Productive?

3 How to Survive a Tough Situation

Links 

1 Steven Covey’s Book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Infographic

Sawing Wood-Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Me! I did it!

You can use my infographic if you credit me and link to my blog

Photos

Paperwork Woman: Energpic

Walking: Mitchell Cizmas

Fingerpaint Hands: Bernard Hermant

Wood Axe: Christopher Burns

Clay: Polar Mermaid 

Book: Helen Jaris