**All links are at the bottom of the post, footnote style**
Then there was that time I felt free and happy….
It was a bit of a miracle, since I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life.
How did it happen?
Well, I took a class on not complaining.
How One Class Gave Me a Taste of Real Happiness
The class was inspired by the book by spiritual leader and author Will Bowen called “A Complaint Free World.” I discovered that I complain a LOT more than I thought I did. When I practiced NOT complaining, I was forced to be very present and examine every word coming out of my mouth. I had to change nearly every sentence!
I never got it perfect, but after a few weeks of practice, I had an ongoing feeling of calm and happiness that I’ve never experienced before.
It was blissful.
WAS I TOO “Nice?” Who Gives a Sh*t. HAPPY IS WORTH IT
Unfortunately, I had an unsupportive
partner at the time and I gave it up.
He thought it was too “Goody Two Shoes.”
It might have seemed like it at first, but it made me work harder to find interesting subjects to talk about, instead of complaining all day.
I should have nicely told him to go jump in a lake.
But instead I stopped, and so did the happiness flow.
Bummer.
But don’t be sad. There’s more.
Three Avenues for an Emotion Transformation
I later learned from the great life coach,Tony Robbins, that your emotional state is based on three elements:
1 Your body language
2 Your thoughts
3 Your words
I had tapped into number three. I had worked on changing my words to something happier (ie; no complaining).
Here is more about what Tony teaches:
If you don’t like the emotional state you are in, you can voluntarily change one or all of these elements to create a change in emotional experience.
Example of a Down State
Your head is lowered, your shoulders slumped, you aren’t moving around much. (Your Body Language says “I’m feeling down”)
You’re thinking how life is always against you and about what terrible stories you want to share with others later. (You’re thoughts paint a picture of being bummed)
You’re talking in a monotone and telling your friend that the day has been awful and you feel down. (Your words tell a story of a yucky day)
If you don’t like that “down” state, you can change your posture, your thoughts and/or your talk. Your feelings will follow.
Change to a Happy State by Doing One or More of These
Change to one or more:
You stand up straight, chest out, big smile on your face, you walk around briskly.
You think about how blessed you are and count all the small wonderful things that are bringing you joy in your life.
You speak up clearly and with enthusiasm, talking positively about all the great stuff that happened to you that day.
You can create any emotional response that you choose at any time.
The Easiest of the Three Happy Modes
The body language change is the easiest and quickest of the three.
I use this tool all the time to help shift my mood. My favorite is to put a large smile on my face.
Sometimes I will add standing up straight, or stretching, or taking a walk.
When I’m feeling down, I’ll put on some music and dance, or do some stretching while in line at the store.
“Motion is Emotion” says Tony Robbins.
This life hack has given me thousands of hours of productivity, because I get a lot done when I’m not depressed.
I write about it more with lots of tips on my post Happiness Via Movement, Get Up, Stay Up (Easy to Turbo-Boost). (1)
What to Do About Number Two
Sorry, this isn’t about changing your turd output. It’s about number 2 on the list…”Change Your Thoughts.”
I start my day with thinking of three things I’m grateful for, and that’s a wonderful way to start.
I choose not to put myself down in my head, like thinking “I suck at this.” Or “I’ll never figure this out.” If I do say it, I correct myself and think “Nope. It’s not true. Everything is hard at the beginning.” Or “You’re doing fine, just keep going!”
Truth Be Told Turns Into Gold
Of all three, I find the hardest to change is what I’m saying. It’s hard because we all love to complain, and other people are involved.
Changing what I say makes me slow down and reconsider HOW I will tell a story and if I’ll even tell it to begin with. Sometimes I’ll even change mid- sentence when I realize I was just about to start complaining. It makes me stay very very present.
I believe that’s why the practice gave me such a profound sense of well being after working on it every day for three weeks.
If you want to give it a try, getting the book I mentioned early is a big help. See my link at the bottom of the page.
Am I going to give it another try? Yes. Yes. And Yes!
Remember:
Happy IS as Happy Does.
Live Juicy, Joybird!
Posts
1 Happiness Via Movement, Get Up, Stay Up (Easy to Turbo-Boost)
Photos
Open Beach: Melanie Wupperman
Jump in Lake: Pawel L.
Down: Andrew Neel
Dove of Change: Artem Podrez
Stretching: Andrea Piacquadio
Say It Nicely: Rodolfo Clix