How to Survive a Tough Situation

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How Was I Going to Survive this Tough Situation?

We had to move.

It came up slam-bam and we scrambled to make it happen.

Our landlords wanted to sell the place.

We scouted for a pad that wouldn’t cost us our first born (our cat Malcolm) and would let us move in with our eleven cats.

Yep. Eleven. Nearly impossible in Silicon Valley.

This Move Would Not Be Easy

So when we heard there was an opportunity popped up to move in right next door, we jumped. The cats know the neighborhood, and so do we.

There was a catch.

They wanted us to move immediately.

AND we’d have to pay for both places at once, so we needed to move f..a..s..t!

In Silicon Valley, the rent is from here to Pluto high, ‘nuff said.

Regular people like us could be classified as clinically insane to live here, but we grew up here…and…well, that’s not part of the story….so let’s keep going….

This meant we didn’t have time to go through our undies and separate the holey ones from the holy ones.

Nor did we have time to get rid of all the dried up tubes of glue that the hubs had collected in the laundry cupboard.

It meant we had a wee bit of time and a sh*tload of stuff.

A sh*tload is an exact amount, by the way….its 34.6 tons heavier than what an 18-wheeler can handle.

We couldn’t afford to procrastinate. (1)

So we dug in and started carting things over, by carrying things out one door and into the next by hand. It started out fine, BUT…

My Husband Got Sick and It Was Baaaaad

Not the “I’m-going-to-die-soon” type of sick (thankfully!). But the kind of sick that leaves you without a lick of energy.

You know, where crawling is a challenge, much less walking, much less carrying.

He was embarrassed, naturally.

I reassured him it was not his fault. It was just life.

I felt fine when consoling him, but I didn’t feel so fine when faced with the task at hand. Even though moving your bod can have uplifting effects, I didn’t see it in a positive light. (2)

The Realization Sunk In; How Am I Going to Do this by Myself?!

I was moving stuff I hadn’t seen in years and I felt that it would never end.

The more I worked, the more my brain chanted “Oh my gawwwwd, there is soooo much stuff! How am I going to do this? It’s a huge job!”

My guy, bless-his-heart, helped when he could, usually after waking up and having a wave of guilt flood over him. He made a huge effort to help, despite his illness.

But the lion’s share of the move was still mine to get done.

I launched a mighty pity party for myself. I felt alone. I was angry–not at my husband, but at the situation.

There was a constant internal whining inside my head. And that’s when I realized the negative thinking was more exhausting than the actual move!

Keep going even when you feel like hiding

I Felt Down and Depleted; I Needed a New Approach

Ugh. It sucked to be me.

My goal is to be “in joy” whenever possible, and this was far from being “in joy.” Hmmmph.

I needed to switch modes; to reframe my situation; to entertain a new thought.

How to Make It Feel Better

They say you can’t hold two thoughts at the same time.

Holding a good thought can crowd out a bad one.

I have to admit that it was hard to switch mental gears because I was really tired.

What worked the best? Gratitude.

Thinking about how great my life is was the real game changer.

Was I thrilled that I was not sick? Absolutely!

Was I living in one of the most sought-after areas in the world? Yep!

Was I looking forward to the next chapters in my life in our new place? You better believe it!

Was I wearing clean underwear? Well, no. Because I was to damn busy to do laundry, but whatever….

So, moment to moment, I worked on my (mental) shit while I worked on my (moving) shit.

Appreciation and gratitude. Appreciation and gratitude. Appreciation and gratitude.

It wasn’t perfect. Now and then I would slip from happy back into grumpy.

Back and forth.

Grumpy, happy, grumpy, happy…hmmm, I seem to be channeling two of the seven dwarves.

Ultimately happy won out, gave me energy and kept me going!

One Emotion Can Make a Tough Situation Livable

Gratitude made my days more bearable. I packed away that sh*tty attitude. Yay!

It takes practice, but when times are tough, it’s super helpful.

According to studies done at U.C. Davis, counting your blessings have been clinically proven to boost both physical and emotional well-being .

It also lowers your blood pressure, improves your immune system and brings better sleep. Bonus! (3)

Additionally, people who practice gratitude are likely to take better care of themselves.

They steer away from dangerous health habits like smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and berating large herds of caribou.

How to Practice Gratitude?

Start by noticing thoughts.

Then replace the bad thoughts immediately with thoughts of what is awesome in your life.

It could be something small, like your dog finally learning that your pillow is not his personal hump toy. Or something big like Aunt Myrtle stopped sending you polka-dotted-onsie pajamas for Christmas.

It doesn’t matter if its big or small, it only matters that you notice the good stuff and let the feeling sink in.

You can also count how your life is better than others. Your grass IS greener. You have more than others have. It’s not about gloating, it’s about appreciating.