**All links are at the bottom of the post, footnote style**
Feeling Overwhelmed? You’re Not Alone
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I want to leap behind a steering wheel and drive to Hawaii.
Or build a blanket fort and dive right in to hide.
Are you feeling like that right now?
I’m talkin’ about feelings of panic, pressure, and anxiety.
When that “overwhelm” tornado whips up, you want to hop on the nearest magic bike to the land of Oz, where you can hi-five an oompa-loompa, and eat chocolate ! (Oh, wait, that’s two different places).
How Do We Get Swamped in the First Place?
I know how it is for me. It’s probably the same for you.
I’m a ‘YES’ person.
I have lots of hobbies and interests. I love to learn. I love spending time with people. I have business ideas up the kazoo. I have paperwork, laundry, cats and so much more — it leads me to the screaming meemies of extreme overwhelm.
You’re in the same boat, right?
So what’s the answer?
Start This Now: The Solution to Being Overwhelmed
There is only so much time in the day. Or so they tell me. I keep getting up in the middle of the night to see if there might be a hidden hour tacked on to the end. So far, no luck.
Really, the problem is that we have too much going on because we’ve said yes to too many things in the past.
The solution? Stop saying “Yes” NOW.
This will help your future you. You like your future you, right? You want to help him/her/them out? Be nice and stop saying yes.
Of course, that’s easier said than done.
It takes a certain mental toughness that comes with practice and mindfulness.
To toughen myself up, I chose a bitchin’ one-word new year’s resolution to help with this. I wrote a post about it. (1)
So pull on your big girl (or big boy) pants and follow me.
Six Overwhelm Pitfalls To Avoid
Here’s how it happens:
1. Some small tasks end up being more work than you think
I once got asked to donate a business gift to an auction. It sounded nice and it sounded simple, so I said yes.
But putting that gift together took a lot of effort!
I had to find a basket and some filling and a bow.
I had to shop in four different stores to find “the right things” to put in the basket.
I spent more hours putting together a cheeky-graphic gift certificate to go with it.
Then I had to place everything perfectly together, wrap it up and drive it over.
What I imagined would take an hour or two turned into a couple of days worth of my time!
Yikes!
It would have been faster to donate money and be done with it.
2. When you say yes to one thing it can be harder to say no in the future
After donating that gift basket, (see above) they asked me to donate one again every single year. Eventually they expected it and I then felt obligated.
By the time I realized it was sucking the life out of me, I found it hard to say no.
You can still say no later, (like I did,) it just becomes harder.
3. Some things you say “yes” to will fill your calendar for years
I’m a sucker for fuzzy creatures who purr — the scroungy, needy ones always find my porch.
I said yes to ONE of them years ago by putting out a bowl of water and food.
And I’ve said yes so many times since then, we ended up owning a dozen old sick cats.
So now I’m stuck.
What started out as a loving gesture, turned into a part time job.
This has become an amazing time-vacuum of vet visits, medicating, feeding, grooming, etc.
When I said yes to feeding one outside, I had no real plan of action, nor a boundary for when to stop.
It’s good to be a sweet person, but not if it makes your life harder.
Be conscious of your interactions with others, no matter how small the beginnings.
4. It’s vanity, plain and simple
Our friend Gary found out I was an artist, so he’d occasionally announce “I have a new art project for you.”
He’d then hand over something like an airplane model to paint a logo on.
I loved the attention at first and the flattery of doing the artwork for him, but it took time, and this wasn’t my priority.
My vanity got the best of me for quite a while.
But now I smile and say “I’d love to, Gary, but I don’t have the time to fit it in!”
“Ego is a hole in your pocket,” as they say. “Leggo my Eggo” is another saying, but it’s completely unrelated to this post. (2)
5. Some yes’s are tiny, but add up (loss of minutes = loss of hours)
Notice the little stuff you spend time on, and keep practicing saying no to them.
Pay attention to small time wasters, like opening junk mail because you’re curious.
Or looking up “winklepicker” in the dictionary. (3)
Or watching the karate chop cat video your friend sends you. (4)
(Of course, if your mom sends it to you, you HAVE to watch it! —Hi Mom!)
Random unfocused curiosity can kill your dreams, so be judicious.
6. FOMO (Fear of missing out) is your imagination working against you
What you need to worry about is FOMO on your own life goals, not FOMO on facebook, or the latest episode of streaming tv.
What’s happening at the dance club may not be as important as staying home and writing that song. You need to weigh it out, Jess. Be your own rock-n-roll hero.
Taming Overwhelm Takes Practice
Here’s how you practice the art of saying no to yes.
Know your priorities
Have a list of your priorities where you can see them everyday. I have mine tattooed on the back of my hand. (Just kidding — they’re tattooed on my husband’s forehead. I never look at the back of my hands.)
Write down and review your priorities often. It will remind you where to spend the majority of your time.
Your priority chart can look like this:
Take Care of My Health and The Health of My Cats
Connect with Family and Closest Friends Daily
Touch Base with Creativity Weekly
Build a Career (or Business) that is Meaningful and Fruitful
Eat as Much Chocolate as Possible
Now, every time you move to a new task, ask yourself:
“Does this serve one of my highest priorities?”
“If I skip this, will it give me more time to do something more significant?”
Notice
When you stopped doing what is important to you, what distracted you?
Take notes
Review them at end of each day or the end of the week.
Get brave
Get brave telling people, in a nice way, that you have other priorities right now. Say “Sorry, I always walk my boa constrictor on Friday nights.”
Get brave ‘missing out’ on some stuff so that you can be the captain of your own ship.
Get brave and block notifications from apps, cell phones and computers. Remember; you’re the boss.
Check on them in time chunks that work for you.
Get brave and let go of little stuff. Allow it to stay undone for a while.
Don’t clean as often, don’t phone as often, don’t follow up as often, don’t call to complain as often, and don’t answer every email.
Let go
Live loosely and live richly.
The most important thing to remember:
Everything you say YES to, is something else you say NO to in your life.
There. Done.
What? Oh, right. I hear ya.
The “say no to make time” idea is great for the future, but I need more time now, you say?
I get it. You are in the middle of it and you need some additional relief.
No worries. I can help.
Solutions in my other posts that might be helpful:
Sometimes it’s how you look at a situation. Here is a link to getting through a large bullsh*t project gracefully. (5)
FOMO my ass. If you read, listen to or watch every thing you come across, read my post about how you’re robbing yourself. (6)
Too much paperwork in your life? I have a post for that too. (7)
Are you so overwhelmed you can’t get yourself to do anything at all? You need to read “13 Ways to Get Unstuck, You Procrastinating Bastard, You.” (8)
Whatever you do, stop saying Yes so much, and start saying No TODAY.
Chant with me, No! No! No! No! No!
Live Juicy, Joybird!
Posts
1 How to Pick the Best One-Word New Year’s Resolution
5 How to Survive a Tough Situation
6 Why Your Learning Addiction Is Keeping You From Success
7 Exhausted By Paperwork? You’re Doing It Wrong!
8 13 Ways to Get Unstuck, You Procrastinating Bastard, You.
Links
2 Leggo My Eggo Commercial Don’t click on this link! Go live your life, silly.
3 Winklepicker This is the kind of stuff that will suck your day away. Don’t do it! Practice saying no.
4 Karate Chop Cat Video Seriously, get a hold of yourself. Stop watching this kind of stuff.
Infographic
Overcome Overwhelm Priority Chart Graphic: Me! I did it! You can use it if you credit me and link to my website.
Photos:
Hawaii: Cristofer Jeschke
Hourglass: Pixabay
Pants: Cottonbro
Basket: Vadim B
Cats: Buenosia Carol
Plane: Pixabay
Mail: Roman Koval
Notes: Min An
Dishes: Scott Umstattd
Relieved Girl: Radu Florin